Baba
Hypocrisy in marriages
Note: This letter is only for those who have reverence for Sadguru Baba and try to learn and follow His Ananda Marga ideology.
Namaskar,
Some indulge in dual marriages. That means first they perform an Ananda Marga marriage, and then to please and satisfy their caste, dogmatic religion, or community etc, they indulge in a second marriage ceremony that is fully rooted lowly dogmas and rituals. This is quite harmful - and hypocritical.
The Ananda Marga revolutionary marriage is the real marriage. Running off and having a big, dogmatic religious marriage afterwards completely undermines one’s strictness in Ananda Marga adarsha. It is akin to eating a wonderful, sentient vegetarian meal and afterwards going to the city dump and eating toxic waste.
So one must not fall into this unseemly affair of doing a dogmatic religious marriage ceremony just to please the neighbors etc, after performing an Ananda Marga marriage ceremony with all the dharmic shlokas and principles given by Lord Shrii Shrii Anandamurtiji. Performing a second dogmatic ceremony would be foolish and against Guru's wishes.
Yet sadly this is happening nowadays with some margiis. The peculiar thing is that often to satisfy and please their non-margii neighbors, relatives, and family elders they do like this. But such an approach is harmful. On dharmic points like marriage, one should only be strict in follow Ananda Marga ideology.
Dogmatic religious rituals belittle brides
Sadly, what some are doing is hypocrisy. On the one side they are trying to show themselves as great and committed by having an Ananda Marga marriage, and on the other side they accepting dogma holding a traditional, ritualistic religious marriage. This is pure hypocrisy where one is trying to massage the situation by placing their feet in two separate boats. The result is bound to be disastrous.
Dual marriages are bad as those parties are engaging in the very dogmas which Baba wants to eliminate from the society. He has given the Ananda Marga marriage ceremony to replace those dogmas of old, not exist side by side such dogmatic approaches that demean and belittle the female party. Performing a dual marriage is akin to eating a wonderful, sentient vegetarian meal and then going to the city dump and eating toxic waste. Similarly, first having a dharmic revolutionary marriage and then doing a dogmatic religious marriage spoils the whole situation.
Double ritual: hypocrisy
There are various reasons why dual marriage should not be done. And here is one of those reasons. In religious marriage rituals, equal rights are not given to girls. That is why Baba has given the Ananda Marga marriage system where both boys and girls are on equal footing. So after performing a marriage according to the Ananda Marga system, if one again tries to marry according to their religious beliefs with the supervision of their religious priests etc, then that is cowardly. And I have seen a few cases in India. First they marry at DMS and then after a few weeks they have a second marriage ceremony with the same girl in their village with a religious priest who presides over the function. Those who do like this are cowards. One side they are trying to be revolutionary leaders of the society in Ananda Marga and on the other side they want to remain followers of dogma in the eyes of their village relatives. Such people should always be condemned.
Conclusion
Baba has graciously given the Ananda Marga marriage system as a dharmic and revolutionary way to engage in family life. That means Ananda Margiis should only participate in the Ananda Marga marriage system. Performing a secondary dogmatic marriage to appease others is cowardly. It ruins everything. So one should be strict on this point and set a dharmic example.
Namaskar,
in Him,
Haridarshan
In the general society there are all kinds of dogmas, rituals, and harmful things going on. Those who are developed human beings recognise those social shortcomings. Those brave people are not just spectators or followers of dogma. Rather they discard the dogma and come forward and follow the right things. They do not bother about praise or censure from the general society. They are only careful to do righteous things. They are true vanguards of the society.
Ananda Marga ideology states, “If I am too concerned with those who praise or censure me, I will not find time to do my real work. As I have come to this world only for a short period, my only concern should be to keep on doing the duty the Lord has assigned to me. And while doing this allotted duty, I should remember that I belong to Parama Puruśa. I have come from Him, and I will have to return to Him – and to do that, I must complete my allotted duty.” (1)
~ In-depth study ~
Two-faced approach
Here below Baba guides us that we should never resort to such type of hypocrisy.
Ananda Marga philosophy states, "To be civilized means to give a refined form to everything, and it is inseparably connected with education. But if refinement takes second place and hypocritical behaviour becomes the primary means of expression, that cannot be called civilization or education. If a man who is invited to a dinner party only nibbles at the savouries, saying, “I am sorry, I cannot eat any more,” then goes home to devour a hearty meal and later brags that he eats very little, an impression of abstemiousness may be created in the minds of others, but there is a complete lack of straightforwardness in his behaviour. In modern society many aspects of civilization and education are of this sort." (2)
In the above quote, Baba harshly rebukes those who give way to hypocrisy by showing one thing and doing another. Yet that is exactly what we see some doing. They are putting forth two fronts. Firstly they portray themselves as a dharmika who adheres to all Ananda Marga policies and principles by having an Ananda Marga marriage, and secondly as a member of a dogmatic community who indulges in caste, dogmatic religious, communal marriage ceremonies. That is cent-per-cent hypocrisy and is not indicative of a civilised, refined man.
Overall, their situation is worse than dogmatic non-margiis who are strict in their own dogma. Such persons may be dogmatic but at least they are not hypocrites.
Kanya’da’n dogma: donating daughters as a commodity
Here in these following teachings Baba reminds us of the chaos, exploitation, harsh treatment, and fighting associated with dogmatic religious marriages. And all along the ones who suffer most are the females. We must not rekindle such harmful dogmas by participating in - and thereby giving credence to - their ritualistic and degrading ways.
Prout philosophy guides us, "Are women like cattle, or sacks of cloth that people give as gifts at the time of marriage? Are they slaves to be sold to others? As long as women lacked courage or intellect, they tolerated these things – but what a great humiliation! To submit them to such indignities is far worse than to whip them publicly on the road. Are women simply like bundles of cloth to be sent to the washerman’s house? Women must not be suppressed, and there should not be domination of males in the society. Society should have a cooperative leadership, not a subordinated leadership; there should be a coordinated, cooperative leadership, leadership between males and females." (3)
History: victorious clan drags defeated women
Ananda Marga philosophy states, "Those people who lived on the same hill under a common patriarch lived just like brothers and sisters. However, they considered the members of other hill communities to be their deadly enemies. And since all on one hill were brothers and sisters, they could not marry among themselves. So what would they do in order to marry? One clan would defeat a neighbouring clan in battle, and they would forcibly drag the vanquished women, with hands bound, back to their own hill for a life of domestic servitude. The males of the defeated clan were utilized as slaves."
"Even to this day, there is a custom whereby the mother asks her son on the eve of his marriage, “Where are you going?” He replies, “I’m going to bring you a maid-servant.” It comes from those days when the victorious clan would drag the defeated women back to its own hill. Not only that – to bind someone you need a rope or a chain ([now] called a gánt́chaŕá). The women would be brought back in those days with chains on their wrists, otherwise they might run away. The iron bangle that a married woman wears today is a symbol of that early servitude. In those days women also fought in battle, and were often hit on the head and severely injured. A small vermilion mark then came to represent the blood streaming from their cracked heads. But today a woman must wear that vermilion mark if she is to be recognized as married. This is quite different from the original idea. Actually these are all just different dogmas." (4)
Ananda Marga philosophy states, "Even today women bear the mark of servitude by wearing iron bangles on their wrists, thus giving the impression that they have been vanquished; they still use the vermilion which originally symbolized bloodshed; they still tie the gánt́chaŕá after marriage, which symbolizes their being forcibly carried away; and the bridegroom still often says to his mother on the eve of his departure for the marriage, “I’m going to bring you a maid-servant.” How absurd! No one is anyone’s servant. The system of slavery was abolished long ago. You should oppose these dogmatic beliefs. They are very objectionable. You should understand the history behind them, and then do the right thing." (5)
Cowards follow ancestors’ dogma
Ananda Marga philosophy states, "In the society, due to old dogmas, weaknesses and lack of proper education, when the human mind becomes inert and dormant it not only destroys itself but affects the movements of others also. “My ancestors were doing this, so how am I to forgo them?” This is nothing but the same stagnancy. If your ancestors were wearing their Dhotis above their knees and a napkin tied around their heads, why then do you put on pants and a terylene shirt? Nobody follows their ancestors. It is a weakness for a person to take the lead from their ancestors only, ignoring everyone else. Mental stagnancy is a kind of disease. It is motionlessness."
"People should not be allowed to rely on the dogmas of their ancestors as it obstructs their own mental pursuit and those of others also. Suppose a cart is in an inconvenient place, blocking the road. The cart has to be pushed to one side. If it cannot be pushed easily it will have to be moved more forcibly. You will have to go ahead – this is the law. It will not do for you to say, “Let the cart remain as it is.” Similarly, you should not say, “The members of my family hold conservative views,” and use this as an excuse for inaction. This should not be allowed. People who hold conservative views are really materialists and are mentally stagnant. Speed has to be infused in them. And not only this, there is need for acceleration in the speed." (6)
Some people for the sake of their caste, dogmatic religious, and communal allegiances surrender to the horrors of religious dogma. These dogmas created hell in society in the past and Baba's revolutionary marriage system is the ideal way to lead humanity into the bright new tomorrow - where those old, broken-down dogmas are finally pushed aside. Performing an Ananda Marga marriage and then participating in some religious marital ceremony only validates those dogmatic rituals.
Baba’s guideline is that if our ancestors did something wrong then it is our duty to correct those wrongs. The worst is to follow their mistakes and not fix them.
Hindu dogmatic marriages: woman placed on wooden seat like goat, cow, or sheep
Ananda Marga marriage treats males and females as equals. It is an ideological and rational approach, whereas ritualistic and dogmatic marriages regard the female as the defeated party. And the girl’s family is humiliated by various demeaning rituals etc, whereby the whole ceremony is viewed as a kanyadan.
Ananda Marga philosophy states, "The marriage customs were all framed in this inhuman way. A woman was never entitled to full freedom in marriage, and the few freedoms that were granted her were in the context of her subordinated cooperation [with] males. In some places a woman was given away placed on a wooden seat like a goat, cow or sheep – this was called kanyádán [“giving away a daughter”]. In some places a woman has no security for her future. If a man desires, he can divorce a woman by paying a nominal amount of money. The women had to tolerate all these injustices with bowed heads because they were physically weaker and lacking education." (7)
References
1. Subhasita Samgraha - 12, How an Ideal Person Should Live
2. Human Society - 1, Social Justice
3. Prout in a Nutshell-9, Renaissance in All the Strata of Life
4. A Few Problems Solved - 7, Bhaerava and Bhaeravii
5. A Few Problems Solved - 7, Bhaerava and Bhaeravii
6. A Few Problems Solved - 6, The Three Causes of Sin
7. Shabda Cayanika - 10, “Kramalaya”
== Section 2: Prabhat Samgiita ==
By Your blessing
Note: Only those bhaktas who feel a deep spiritual vibration in their heart can understand this song in the depths of their core.
"Shata bádhár práciir bhenge egiye jábo..." (Prabhat Samgiita #1248)
Purport:
O' Parama Purusa, Baba, I will go on fighting against the hundreds of towering walls of obstacles which are coming on the path by chanting Your name and singing Your song. I will destroy those mountainous problems which are obstructing my journey towards the spiritual realm by repeating Your name and reciting Your glory, andl move forward by Your incessant inspiration. With the power of Your name, I will continue marching ahead. By Your compassion, at the end of the dark night I will get the golden rays of the crimson dawn.
O' my Lord, no matter how mighty and powerful the demons are, their entire strength comes from You. You are the Supreme Controller of everything. No matter how forceful and ghastly the burning face of fire is, all the energy comes from You alone. Baba, I am under Your shelter and marching forward on Your path. I am not afraid of anyone or anything because You are always with me. With the fountain of Your blessing filling my heart, I will go on fighting against all dark forces.
Baba, please grant me the firm determination to stop those demons who spread poison in the sky, air, and water. They are trying to pollute the innocent people by spreading their noxious dogma. I will never forgive them nor show them any mercy. With Your blessing, I will march onwards, crushing all problems and hindrances with the stroke of my feet. Baba, Your liila is beyond imagination...
== Section: Important Teaching ==
Foolish blame God for their own sin
Ananda Marga ideology states, "When people rob others, or indulge in hypocrisy, or cheat people, or indulge in tall talk day after day, they are committing original actions. When a dishonest government employee accepts a bribe it is an original action, and when his son gets sick and has to be rushed to the doctor it is the reactive action (the reaction to the original action). When his son dies he laments, “I haven’t knowingly done anything wrong. Oh, Lord, why have you given me such severe punishment.” But God did not give him any punishment – the deep sorrow he felt at the death of his child was the result of his past original actions." (1)
Reference
1. Ananda Marga Ideology and Way of Life - 8, Sádhaná
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