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Sunday, January 19, 2014

Donkey Marriage - 3B: G Family

Baba


DONKEY MARRIAGE - 3B: G. FAMILY

~ Part 3B ~

(Note: Before reading this letter be sure you have read part one of this series. - Eds)

Namaskar,
Everyone should be aware that on 7th Feb 2014 a marriage is to be held in Trivandrum (Kerala) - and unfortunately it runs contrary to the ideological fundamentals of our Ananda Marga.

Important: The marriage will be held in 3 weeks but it does not hold up to Baba's divine teachings. Firstly, it is a caste marriage. Secondly, the bridegroom is a non-margii**. Thirdly, per Baba's teaching we should always aim for both bride and groom to be dedicated Ananda Margiis. Failing that, we should be keen to adhere to Baba's explicit warning and parents should not impose their will and force their margii daughter or granddaughter to marry non-margii boys.

Bride: SS Goenkas'a granddaughter has been initiated into the Ananda Marga sadhana system and she regularly attends dharmacakra.

Bridegroom: The husband-to-be is of the same caste as the bride. He is a non-margii, who has agreed to do both a Hindu style marriage and an Ananda Marga system of marriage - one after another.

Thus in a few short weeks the Goenka family will be involved in an unideological marriage. The first part of this series examined how this marriage is based in caste dogma. Here are more critical aspects of this issue.


HOW MONEY RULES THE ROOST

GREEDY WTS MASSAGE HIS FEET

The Goenka family has consistently indulged in caste marriages, yet even then - because of his money - Shyam Sundar Goenka always held a respectable position in Ananda Marga - this has been going on especially in the recent years of last two decades etc. Any other person / family would have faced serious consequences. This shows the sad fact how money rules the roost.

Indeed, Baba points out how in this capitalist era, money is everything.

"No matter how many other qualities they may possess, vipras and kśatriyas who think independently, possess a sense of dignity or are self-reliant, cannot establish themselves unless they learn to flatter the vaeshyas in a psychological way. Even the unworthy son or relative of a wealthy person has the opportunity to sit at the head of society, and through the power of money an unattractive daughter is properly married to a good bridegroom. A good marriage cannot be arranged even for the sons of the poor, intelligent and educated though they may be, let alone the daughters of the poor. In fact in the Vaeshya Age people cannot hope to be respected unless they are rich. Those who hope for respect or have gained it, depend or have depended on the mercy of the vaeshyas." (Human Society - 2)

This above quote applies perfectly to the marriage situation in Goenka's family.

And that is why some Wts are are hovering around like bees around honey. They are ready to sacrifice everything for money.

Here again is Baba's guideline how money is the dominant factor in the capitalist / vaeshyan era. Specifically Baba has mocking how even bogus type of people are hailed as being great because they have money.

Yasyásti vittam' sah narah kuliinah;
Sa pańd́itah sah shrutavána guńajiṋah.
Sa eva vaktá sa ca darshaniiyah;
Sarve guńáh káiṋcańamáshrayanti.

[Those who have wealth are high-caste, are well-educated, possess many abilities, are good orators and are good-looking. They have all these qualities because they have money.] (HS-2)

In His above teaching Baba is mocking how in materialistic societies even idiots are treated as being great simply because they have money.

Because Goenka is rich some greedy Wts massage his feet and dance according to his direction. That is why such workers are eager to attend. That is the unfortunate situation, and all sympathy goes to the margii girl who may not realise what is about to befall her.



PARENTS MUST NOT FORCE MARGII DAUGHTERS

TO MARRY NON-MARGII BOYS

The boy is a non-margii and the girl is an Ananda Margii.

Baba says, "Male members of the Marga can marry females outside the Marga, but it will be better to marry a female member of the Marga to a male member of the Marga, as far as possible." (Caryacarya - 1, Marriage Ceremony, point #5)

Baba's above directive is very clear and straightforward. Margii boys may marry non-margii girls and bring them into Ananda Marga; but margii girls should not marry non-margii boys. Baba's warning is very explicit: Our margii girls should not marry outside the Marga. That is Baba's key directive.



TRAGIC FATE OF AC HARISHANKARJI'S DAUGHTER

And indeed, to understand this we need look no further than the abominable marriage that happened with Ac Harishankarji's daughter. She was a very sentient devotee who strictly followed all the do's and don'ts of AM life. And Ac Harishankarji arranged her marriage with a non-margii boy, who was initiated for the sake of the marriage. And that boy who became her husband made her life hell. She was very keen to follow 16 points, but he forced her to cook tamasik food (meat) for him every day. Not only that, he forced her to prepare and serve meat to their sons. Indeed, in each and every aspect of life, that husband tortured her by forcing her to engage in tamasik activities. He was a brute who ruined her life; and since the day they were married she cried and suffered. Her life became filled with torment. This is the very well-known, yet tragic tale.



MARGII SISTERS MUST NOT MARRY NON-MARGIIS

AND INVITE TROUBLE

That is why - especially in this male-dominated era - Baba warns us that margii sisters should not marry non-margii boys.

The problem is that the non-margii husband negatively influences and forces his wife to stop following Ananda Marga sadhana and lifestyle. This is what we practically see happening when a margii sister marries a non-margii brother. The girl stops following the path. This is the worst outcome.

So best is for both bride and bridegroom to be fully, committed margiis. That is the ideal approach, especially in today's ultra-materialistic era. But if this is not possible and a margii is going to marry a non-margii, then it should be a male margii marrying a non-margii sister. Because today's world is male-dominated, thus it is manageable - though not ideal - for a margii boy to marry a non-margii girl and bring her into Ananda Marga. The boy will usually be able to bring his wife onto the path of sadhana etc.

Whereas it is not good for a a margii girl to marry a non-margii boy. Hence, Baba's stern warning in Caryacarya against this. Such a marriage will undermine and stunt the margii girl's spiritual growth - a most unfortunate and tragic outcome.



USUAL ALIBI

Goenka has been telling many that he was searching for 1 1/2 years for a margii groom for his granddaughter - and that he could not find one. He repeats this wherever he goes.

But we should all understand the greater truth of the matter. Yes, Goenka Dada sent an email and searched etc, but the degree of searching that was required to get a proper suitor he did not do. Rather, he did a token search to satisfy others, and then fulfilled his desire by performing a caste marriage. This is the way it works. People search and receive according to their desire. If Goenkaji really wanted to arrange a revolutionary marriage for his granddaughter then his search would have been far more intense and he would have achieved his goal. It was not an impossible task and he had the resources to do it. The reason why it was not done was because in the soft corner of his mind he was hankering for a caste marriage. And that is what he got.

But to others he can say, "I exhausted all my resources and searched so hard but alas could not get a proper marriage." This is his alibi.

The real issue at hand is that in these twilight years of his life, Goenka is quite rigid to adhere to his caste dogma. To divert inquirers, he says, "I have been searching, I have been searching for year and not finding anyone." But his excuse is just like a pseudo-margii justifying that he could not find sentient food to purchase, and that is why he is eating meat. Anyone seeing this situation will easily understand that the pseudo-margiis had a strong inner desire to eat meat. If he really wanted sentient food he would have been able to find it.

Similarly, Goenka's justification that he could not find an ideal groom is bogus. From the outset his inner desire was to arrange a caste marriage. All the while he tells everyone that since long he is seeking an ideal marriage candidate, yet his heart's desire was to do exactly what he has done: Arrange a caste marriage with a non-margii boy. The whole situation is quite apparent and very sad. The strategy is "see-through."


WHY NOT A NON-MARGII FROM A DIFFERENT CASTE

Goenkaji may furthermore justify that he searched long and hard for a margii boy for his granddaughter, but ultimately he could not find one - that is why he selected this non-margii boy from his own caste. This is the way he might explain things.

But if he was truly sincere in his approach and really could not find a margii suitor, then at least he would have selected a non-margii boy from a different caste and gotten him initiated. But instead, he indulged in a caste marriage.

Really then there is no excuse for what Goenkaji has done.


MUST NOT FALL PREY TO DOGMA OF ONE'S ANCESTORS

Here below is Baba's reply to those who give way to following the dogmatic likings of their forefathers - like Goenka is doing with this upcoming caste marriage on 7th Feb 2014.

   "In the society, due to old dogmas, weaknesses and lack of proper education, when the human mind becomes inert and dormant it not only destroys itself but affects the movements of others also. “My ancestors were doing this, so how am I to forgo them?” This is nothing but the same stagnancy. If your ancestors were wearing their Dhotis above their knees and a napkin tied around their heads, why then do you put on pants and a terylene shirt? Nobody follows their ancestors. It is a weakness for a person to take the lead from their ancestors only, ignoring everyone else. Mental stagnancy is a kind of disease. It is motionlessness."
   "People should not be allowed to rely on the dogmas of their ancestors as it obstructs their own mental pursuit and those of others also. Suppose a cart is in an inconvenient place, blocking the road. The cart has to be pushed to one side. If it cannot be pushed easily it will have to be moved more forcibly. You will have to go ahead – this is the law. It will not do for you to say, “Let the cart remain as it is.” Similarly, you should not say, “The members of my family hold conservative views,” and use this as an excuse for inaction. This should not be allowed. People who hold conservative views are really materialists and are mentally stagnant. Speed has to be infused in them. And not only this, there is need for acceleration in the speed." (AFPS-6, Three Causes of Sin)

Thus no one should fall prey to this dogmatic and stagnant mind-set that, "Since my ancestors arranged caste marriages then I too should arrange caste marriages." This type of psychic stagnancy is very harmful and impedes progress. This is just a lazy excuse for not doing the right thing.



GREEDY VANDANANANDJI

Despite the obvious pitfalls and problems with the upcoming marriage, some Wts are quite excited to attend - including Vandananandji. Such workers have their select reasons why they are eager to attend, even though the marriage is completely against Ananda Marga ideology. And more about this is reviewed in the next installment on this topic. Any worker or margiis strict in dharma and AM ideology will never attend such a wedding that is rooted in dogma.


To be Continued in DONKEY MARRIAGE - 3C: G FAMILY...

Namaskar,
In Him,
Manoj


** Bridegroom is non-margii who will get a token initiation before the marriage.


Note 1: JUST DONKEY MARRIAGE NOTHING MORE

The aforementioned upcoming marriage in Trivandrum (Kerala) is nothing but a donkey marriage. Superficially, they have everything ready in terms of proper outfits and acaryas on hand etc, but upon closer examination the foundations of this marriage are completely bogus as it is wrapped up in caste dogma etc and contravenes the tenets of Ananda Marga. On the outside it looks like Ananda Marga but in reality it is not Ananda Marga. That is what is meant by donkey.

Here "donkey" refers to anything that is done for show or for a superficial reason. Here below Baba gives the example of donkey food.

"If food is not given with that heart-felt feeling and if one's own life is not in danger due to starvation, in that condition then any food offered is donkey food, gardabha'nna. So one must not eat that food." (Summary of Shabda Cayanika - 20, p.163-64 [Bangla])

So that is donkey food - food given just for show or to impress others etc.

And donkey sadhaka is when one is doing sadhana sitting in a very erect position hoping that someone will notice him and be impressed. But internally, that "meditator" is just thinking about himself, not Parama Purusa.

And in the case of the aforementioned marriage in Trivandrum (Kerala), they are arranging it in a very superficial manner to make it look like an Ananda Marga marriage. But in fact, the dharmic fundamentals are wholly lacking. To the untrained eye and non-sadhaka, it may look like an Ananda Marga marriage, but to every sincere Ananda Margii it is evident that this is just a donkey marriage.


Note 2: THOSE WHO ARE CONFUSED

Some margiis get confused about this below teaching; in particular, they misunderstand the way the word "consider" is used:

"While arranging a marriage [in the case of that kind of marriage], the guardians should not consider the caste or nationality of the bride and bridegroom." (Caryacarya, part 1, Marriage Ceremony, pt #1)

The term "consider" is often misunderstood, especially amongst new margiis and new students of AM ideology. The sense is that when arranging a marriage, one should not look for a boy or girl from their preferred caste (so-called) , country, or race etc. For instance, Baba's teaching is that if ones belong to the so-called brahmin caste then they should not seek out a so-called brahmin caste boy or girl for marriage. Anyone doing this is going against the aforesaid rule. This explanation is based on Baba's many discourses where He explicit warns us about the horrors of so-called caste and national sentiment. So readers should reflect on the above quote bearing in mind the greater context of Baba's ideological teachings. Then they will get a proper understanding. If anything is unclear then write in with your thoughts or queries.


Note 3: "DONKEY MARRIAGE - 3A: GOENKA FAMILY"

Shyam Sundar Goenka is a senior margii that is why it is important and needed to carefully examine his actions; lest others be led astray.

Here below is a link to the first donkey marriage letter about the Goenka family and their upcoming wedding on 07 Feb 2014.



Note 4: LINKS TO MORE DONKEY MARRIAGE LETTERS



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