Baba
This email contains four sections:
1. Posting: Ananda Marga Rule: Boys & Girls Raised Separately #2
2. End Quote: In Ananda Marga Guru Puja is One Lesson
This email contains four sections:
1. Posting: Ananda Marga Rule: Boys & Girls Raised Separately #2
2. End Quote: In Ananda Marga Guru Puja is One Lesson
3. P.S. #241: Repentance: "Why Did I Not Keep You In My Heart"
4. Links
Note: This is the second letter on this topic. A link to the earlier letter titled - "Didi Attached with 19-Year-Old Boy" - has been appended below.
Warning: If you do not care about the teachings of Ananda Marga and Guru's given Wt conduct rules for monks, then there is no need for you to read this letter.
Namaskar,
One of Baba’s key rules is that boys and girls should grow up separately. Home boys will be raised by male managers or Dadas, and home girls will be cared for my female managers or Didis. Often, children first come in our custody at a tender young age – and in each case they should be placed in a gender-appropriate home.
Unfortunately, some female wts, who go against the moral codes, have greater attraction for the boys; it seems they get some kind of animal satisfaction from raising boys of 4 – 5 yrs of age. Their animal instinct grows more. And that is what we see allegedly happening with Didi D and Shubham (19-years-old). Still Didi D clutches on to him very tightly.
This type of nepotism sets a very bad precedent. Because Didi D is allegedly so engrossed with her attachment for Shubham that she could not care about her main duties of acarya life. In that way so many dharmic works have been overlooked. Due to extreme infatuation with Shubham, Didi has her lost way – she forgot her main role in life.
A similar type of situation happened in the series of reports in the earlier letter where the foster mother had illicit relations with her son etc. This is clear-cut reason why we must not tolerate any slackness in conduct rules (appended below).
Because when a person is infatuated with the opposite sex, then they are completely blind and cannot understand right from wrong. Intoxicated in this way, they cannot distinguish between appropriate and inappropriate behaviour.
The case of Didi D allegedly keeping Shubham in her close proximity has triggered a very negative trend in our Marga where many Didis are keeping boys in their company. Yet the clear-cut directive of Guru is that boys will be in a children’s home run by Dadas and girls will be in a children’s home with a Didi. There is not to be any mixing of the sexes in this regard.
Just see what a negative effect this mixing of the sexes has. In the very same children’s home where Shubham was staying, one of the teenage girls allegedly ran off with a neighborhood boy. Some naive persons will think, “What does this have to do with Shubham?” But keeping Shubham as a permanent resident of the children’s home, and in the company of all the girls, is a distinct infringement. As he is around all the time he gossips with and touches them.
The 19-year-old Shubham’s presence ruins the whole environment and sanctity of the children’s home. Instead of learning dharmic principles, those young impressionable girls become enticed. And this is exacerbated by Didiji introducing them to pseudo-culture where they watch cheap love movies every evening etc. And obviously the whole reason Shubham is living in the Didi’s children’s home is because Didi herself has become completely attached to him. Yet now look what has happened. This is one incident of many wherever our children’s homes are contravening the code by being co-ed.
By having Shubham in their proximity 24/7, their vrttis of those developing girls get excited. Instead of harnessing their potential towards dharmic ideals, those girls become completely aroused and extroverted with the constant reminder of Shubham, a male figure their midst.
In result, one teenage girl from the children’s home allegedly ran off with one neighborhood man who was much older than she was. It was a big scandal whereby the police were called and brought onto the scene because she was a minor. Before the police could track them down, the girl and that older man got married and he was beating her everyday. She could not bear it so after three months she came back. This is the fault of Ananda Dyotana; because of her, one girl's life was ruined. Now that girl is mostly depressed and sad.
Fortunately, the runaway girl made it back to the children's home before getting picked up by international sex traffickers etc. But the damage was done.
And it all started the moment Didi D brought boys into the girls children’s home. And this type of problem is spreading all around. More Didis are bringing boys – of all ages – into their care. And those boys become fixtures in those homes. They do chores, play with the girls, and develop a close link with Didi.
Through it all, overseas money is allegedly filling the bank accounts of those Didis running these homes for girls. By showing the photos of the kids and pleading for their cause, Didi solicits maximum donations. Naturally, margiis and sympathizers want to help those children so they offer generous contributions. Mostly though, it is the Didi - or the didi's laokik family - that is the beneficiary of those funds, not the children. This has been detailed extensively in prior investigations.
Actually this problem of Didi D keeping Shubham (19 yrs of age) close by her side has been pointed out publicly for at least two years. Many margiis of India have confronted Didiji, but she always gives the same response. She justifies that the overseas margiis support her and give her financial contributions. So she is only accountable to them.
Didi is able to befool those overseas margiis because they do not see exactly what is going on. Just they hear Didiji's tales of woe and difficulty and she shows them pictures of the kids. In turn, the heart-strings of those overseas donors are pulled; Didi appeals to their sense of mercy. And those altruistic overseas margiis fail to realiae that Didi is merely "playing her cards."
Because she herself is collecting huge funds for that children's home - far more than what is needed. So she just diverts all those funds for her own personal use and disposal. Didiji leads a shameful life; yet, with her appeals of mercy and her top global posting she is able to garner big monies from overseas donors. The only way to stop her antics is to cut her bloodline: The moment money stops getting pumped into her pocket from overseas margiis, then Didi can be held in check. Till that time - never. Because she does not want to be separated from her infatuation nor listen to the voice of reason. So the only way to resolve this is through monetary punishment - stop the donations.
If you point out a good, moral person about their mistake, then they will be inclined to fix the problem as best they can. But this Didi is not of that moral fiber. Her character is completely different. She is more like those depraved persons: If you point them out they do not care. They continue on in their wrongdoing until they are absolutely forced to stop via circumstantial pressure.
And that is exactly the case with Didi. And the only thing she will listen to is money. If she is really cut off from her funding, she will feel the pinch and be forced to curtail her nasty habits and dealing. Till that time she feels justified and empowered in her wrongdoing. Such is her horrible state of mind.
So again I will say: All overseas monies must be cut; that is the only way to stop this massive landslide, i.e. Didi's irresponsible and bad dealing that fully contravenes Guru's mandates.
Here the main point of this letter is that introduction of boys into a girls children's home run by Didis contravenes Baba's guideline and disrupts the children's home.
The reason why Centre does not step in and intercede is because many of those Dadas are allegedly already involved in illicit affairs of their own and thus lack the moral strength and courage to take action. So they become passive facilitators of the debacle in those children's homes.
The only option left is for margiis to come forward and take direct action. Margiis must demand that police interview the children to hear from them directly what is going on. The situation is that dire. In any civilised land, child abuse is a punishable offense and not reporting it is also a crime. The time has come to boldly to step up and examine this unfortunate and tragic situation.
Here everyone should be clear that Didiji is not a family person. She is a yogic nun of Ananda Marga - a renunciate. By keeping a grown male in her midst she is not following the conduct rules of an avadhutika. So her dealing is highly objectionable. If a family person is living with the opposite sex that is completely normal; for a nun it is completely abnormal. If one cannot follow the rule then they should give up the dress. Didi's conduct and dealing must be that of a yogic nun / avadhutika. That is the point at hand.
"It should be remembered that a woman’s friend is a woman and a man’s friend is a man." (Caryacarya, part 1, Social Relationship between Men and Women)
“One should not look at the face of the opposite sex.” (37 Workers Rules, Point #15)
"Under no circumstances should the purity of the body and mind be polluted." (32 Rules for Avadhu'tikas, pt #30)
This type of unfortunate incident where our home girls run off with the opposite sex happens when the given codes and rules are not followed. Then the path of degeneration opens up wide. To stop all such incidents, this letter is one small effort.
Namaskar,
In Him,
Kamala
In the above account, Didi D refers to Didi Ananda Dyotana and Shubham is Shubham the 19 year-man who has been raised by Didi ji. This is completely against the ethics of Ananda Marga.
Prior Didi was very close to and linked with Dada Nigamanandji. Since his death, Didiji has seemingly needed some other male figure for her animal satisfaction. That is why she is keeping Shubham.
Kindly forward this letter to Didi Ananda Dyotana, and if you have her email address please send it to me as well - thank you.
The section below demarcated by asterisks is an entirely different topic,
completely unrelated to the above material. It stands on its own as a point of interest.
*******************************************************
In Ananda Marga Guru Puja is One Lesson
4. Links
ANANDA MARGA RULE:
BOYS AND GIRLS RAISED SEPARATELY
~ Part 2 ~
BOYS AND GIRLS RAISED SEPARATELY
~ Part 2 ~
Note: This is the second letter on this topic. A link to the earlier letter titled - "Didi Attached with 19-Year-Old Boy" - has been appended below.
Warning: If you do not care about the teachings of Ananda Marga and Guru's given Wt conduct rules for monks, then there is no need for you to read this letter.
Namaskar,
One of Baba’s key rules is that boys and girls should grow up separately. Home boys will be raised by male managers or Dadas, and home girls will be cared for my female managers or Didis. Often, children first come in our custody at a tender young age – and in each case they should be placed in a gender-appropriate home.
Unfortunately, some female wts, who go against the moral codes, have greater attraction for the boys; it seems they get some kind of animal satisfaction from raising boys of 4 – 5 yrs of age. Their animal instinct grows more. And that is what we see allegedly happening with Didi D and Shubham (19-years-old). Still Didi D clutches on to him very tightly.
This type of nepotism sets a very bad precedent. Because Didi D is allegedly so engrossed with her attachment for Shubham that she could not care about her main duties of acarya life. In that way so many dharmic works have been overlooked. Due to extreme infatuation with Shubham, Didi has her lost way – she forgot her main role in life.
A similar type of situation happened in the series of reports in the earlier letter where the foster mother had illicit relations with her son etc. This is clear-cut reason why we must not tolerate any slackness in conduct rules (appended below).
Because when a person is infatuated with the opposite sex, then they are completely blind and cannot understand right from wrong. Intoxicated in this way, they cannot distinguish between appropriate and inappropriate behaviour.
GIRLS SHOULD BE IN DIDI'S CHILDRENS HOME
BOYS SHOULD BE IN DADA'S CHILDRENS HOME
BOYS SHOULD BE IN DADA'S CHILDRENS HOME
The case of Didi D allegedly keeping Shubham in her close proximity has triggered a very negative trend in our Marga where many Didis are keeping boys in their company. Yet the clear-cut directive of Guru is that boys will be in a children’s home run by Dadas and girls will be in a children’s home with a Didi. There is not to be any mixing of the sexes in this regard.
KEEPING SHUBHAM IN GIRLS CHILDRENS HOME
RUINS THE SANCTITY AND PUTS GIRLS AT RISK
RUINS THE SANCTITY AND PUTS GIRLS AT RISK
Just see what a negative effect this mixing of the sexes has. In the very same children’s home where Shubham was staying, one of the teenage girls allegedly ran off with a neighborhood boy. Some naive persons will think, “What does this have to do with Shubham?” But keeping Shubham as a permanent resident of the children’s home, and in the company of all the girls, is a distinct infringement. As he is around all the time he gossips with and touches them.
The 19-year-old Shubham’s presence ruins the whole environment and sanctity of the children’s home. Instead of learning dharmic principles, those young impressionable girls become enticed. And this is exacerbated by Didiji introducing them to pseudo-culture where they watch cheap love movies every evening etc. And obviously the whole reason Shubham is living in the Didi’s children’s home is because Didi herself has become completely attached to him. Yet now look what has happened. This is one incident of many wherever our children’s homes are contravening the code by being co-ed.
By having Shubham in their proximity 24/7, their vrttis of those developing girls get excited. Instead of harnessing their potential towards dharmic ideals, those girls become completely aroused and extroverted with the constant reminder of Shubham, a male figure their midst.
TEENAGE HOME GIRL RAN OFF WITH A NEIGHBORHOOD BOY
In result, one teenage girl from the children’s home allegedly ran off with one neighborhood man who was much older than she was. It was a big scandal whereby the police were called and brought onto the scene because she was a minor. Before the police could track them down, the girl and that older man got married and he was beating her everyday. She could not bear it so after three months she came back. This is the fault of Ananda Dyotana; because of her, one girl's life was ruined. Now that girl is mostly depressed and sad.
Fortunately, the runaway girl made it back to the children's home before getting picked up by international sex traffickers etc. But the damage was done.
And it all started the moment Didi D brought boys into the girls children’s home. And this type of problem is spreading all around. More Didis are bringing boys – of all ages – into their care. And those boys become fixtures in those homes. They do chores, play with the girls, and develop a close link with Didi.
OVERSEAS MONEY IS FILLING THE BANK ACCOUNTS:
THIS MUST BE STOPPED - OTHERWISE NO HOPE
THIS MUST BE STOPPED - OTHERWISE NO HOPE
Through it all, overseas money is allegedly filling the bank accounts of those Didis running these homes for girls. By showing the photos of the kids and pleading for their cause, Didi solicits maximum donations. Naturally, margiis and sympathizers want to help those children so they offer generous contributions. Mostly though, it is the Didi - or the didi's laokik family - that is the beneficiary of those funds, not the children. This has been detailed extensively in prior investigations.
Actually this problem of Didi D keeping Shubham (19 yrs of age) close by her side has been pointed out publicly for at least two years. Many margiis of India have confronted Didiji, but she always gives the same response. She justifies that the overseas margiis support her and give her financial contributions. So she is only accountable to them.
Didi is able to befool those overseas margiis because they do not see exactly what is going on. Just they hear Didiji's tales of woe and difficulty and she shows them pictures of the kids. In turn, the heart-strings of those overseas donors are pulled; Didi appeals to their sense of mercy. And those altruistic overseas margiis fail to realiae that Didi is merely "playing her cards."
Because she herself is collecting huge funds for that children's home - far more than what is needed. So she just diverts all those funds for her own personal use and disposal. Didiji leads a shameful life; yet, with her appeals of mercy and her top global posting she is able to garner big monies from overseas donors. The only way to stop her antics is to cut her bloodline: The moment money stops getting pumped into her pocket from overseas margiis, then Didi can be held in check. Till that time - never. Because she does not want to be separated from her infatuation nor listen to the voice of reason. So the only way to resolve this is through monetary punishment - stop the donations.
If you point out a good, moral person about their mistake, then they will be inclined to fix the problem as best they can. But this Didi is not of that moral fiber. Her character is completely different. She is more like those depraved persons: If you point them out they do not care. They continue on in their wrongdoing until they are absolutely forced to stop via circumstantial pressure.
And that is exactly the case with Didi. And the only thing she will listen to is money. If she is really cut off from her funding, she will feel the pinch and be forced to curtail her nasty habits and dealing. Till that time she feels justified and empowered in her wrongdoing. Such is her horrible state of mind.
So again I will say: All overseas monies must be cut; that is the only way to stop this massive landslide, i.e. Didi's irresponsible and bad dealing that fully contravenes Guru's mandates.
WHY CENTRE HAS BEEN UNABLE TO INTERCEDE
Here the main point of this letter is that introduction of boys into a girls children's home run by Didis contravenes Baba's guideline and disrupts the children's home.
The reason why Centre does not step in and intercede is because many of those Dadas are allegedly already involved in illicit affairs of their own and thus lack the moral strength and courage to take action. So they become passive facilitators of the debacle in those children's homes.
MARGIIS COME FORWARD AND MAKE HUE AND CRY
The only option left is for margiis to come forward and take direct action. Margiis must demand that police interview the children to hear from them directly what is going on. The situation is that dire. In any civilised land, child abuse is a punishable offense and not reporting it is also a crime. The time has come to boldly to step up and examine this unfortunate and tragic situation.
ABOUT THIS ISSUE THERE MUST NOT BE ANY CONFUSION
Here everyone should be clear that Didiji is not a family person. She is a yogic nun of Ananda Marga - a renunciate. By keeping a grown male in her midst she is not following the conduct rules of an avadhutika. So her dealing is highly objectionable. If a family person is living with the opposite sex that is completely normal; for a nun it is completely abnormal. If one cannot follow the rule then they should give up the dress. Didi's conduct and dealing must be that of a yogic nun / avadhutika. That is the point at hand.
"It should be remembered that a woman’s friend is a woman and a man’s friend is a man." (Caryacarya, part 1, Social Relationship between Men and Women)
“One should not look at the face of the opposite sex.” (37 Workers Rules, Point #15)
"Under no circumstances should the purity of the body and mind be polluted." (32 Rules for Avadhu'tikas, pt #30)
SUMMARY
This type of unfortunate incident where our home girls run off with the opposite sex happens when the given codes and rules are not followed. Then the path of degeneration opens up wide. To stop all such incidents, this letter is one small effort.
Namaskar,
In Him,
Kamala
Note 1: WHO IS DIDI D AND SHUBHAM
In the above account, Didi D refers to Didi Ananda Dyotana and Shubham is Shubham the 19 year-man who has been raised by Didi ji. This is completely against the ethics of Ananda Marga.
Prior Didi was very close to and linked with Dada Nigamanandji. Since his death, Didiji has seemingly needed some other male figure for her animal satisfaction. That is why she is keeping Shubham.
Note 2: PLEASE FORWARD THIS EMAIL TO DIDIJI
Kindly forward this letter to Didi Ananda Dyotana, and if you have her email address please send it to me as well - thank you.
== Section #2 ==
The section below demarcated by asterisks is an entirely different topic,
completely unrelated to the above material. It stands on its own as a point of interest.
*******************************************************
In Ananda Marga Guru Puja is One Lesson
"Question: What is pratyáhára?"
"Answer: Pratyáhára is derived: prati – á – hr + ghaiṋ. The word áhára literally means “assimilating” or “taking something within”. As a yogic practice, pratyáhára means “withdrawal of the mind from external objectivity and goading the withdrawn mind toward Parama Puruśa”. (Yoga Psychology, Questions and Answers on Meditation)
"You must bring about a revolutionary change in the flow of your judgment and thought, and see how, after overcoming your fascination with external colour, your mind becomes tinged with the His glorious colour. In Ananda Marga Sadhana, the method of withdrawing the mind from degrading tendencies, and absorbing oneself in the colour of the Great, is called Pratyáhára Yoga (the yoga of withdrawal) or Varńárghyadána (the offering of colours). All people have a particular attraction for one or another object or activity and as soon as they become attracted to an object, then their minds become coloured with the colour of that object. You can withdraw your mind from the colour of that object and dye yourself in His colour by offering Him the captivating colour of the object that has attracted you: this is the real Pratyáhára Yoga. The word Pratyáhára means “to withdraw” – to withdraw the mind from its object." (Subhasita Samgraha - 3, Vibration, Form and Colour)
Note: In Astaunga Yoga, there are 8 limbs - one of which is pratyahara. We practice that as Guru puja as part of our regular sadhana routine. Guru puja is very important. After sadhana, one should always do Guru puja, and Guru puja can also be done on its own. After all, it is a lesson. By this way, one's attachment for mundane things slowly fades away. It is a perfect science. If, after practicing Guru puja, one is unable to get rid of their worldly attachments and / or a particular mental weakness, then best is to consult an acarya. In Senior Acarya Diary, Baba has given a detailed science and method for practicing Guru puja. One should learn how to do this from any acarya, one on one.
"Answer: Pratyáhára is derived: prati – á – hr + ghaiṋ. The word áhára literally means “assimilating” or “taking something within”. As a yogic practice, pratyáhára means “withdrawal of the mind from external objectivity and goading the withdrawn mind toward Parama Puruśa”. (Yoga Psychology, Questions and Answers on Meditation)
"You must bring about a revolutionary change in the flow of your judgment and thought, and see how, after overcoming your fascination with external colour, your mind becomes tinged with the His glorious colour. In Ananda Marga Sadhana, the method of withdrawing the mind from degrading tendencies, and absorbing oneself in the colour of the Great, is called Pratyáhára Yoga (the yoga of withdrawal) or Varńárghyadána (the offering of colours). All people have a particular attraction for one or another object or activity and as soon as they become attracted to an object, then their minds become coloured with the colour of that object. You can withdraw your mind from the colour of that object and dye yourself in His colour by offering Him the captivating colour of the object that has attracted you: this is the real Pratyáhára Yoga. The word Pratyáhára means “to withdraw” – to withdraw the mind from its object." (Subhasita Samgraha - 3, Vibration, Form and Colour)
Note: In Astaunga Yoga, there are 8 limbs - one of which is pratyahara. We practice that as Guru puja as part of our regular sadhana routine. Guru puja is very important. After sadhana, one should always do Guru puja, and Guru puja can also be done on its own. After all, it is a lesson. By this way, one's attachment for mundane things slowly fades away. It is a perfect science. If, after practicing Guru puja, one is unable to get rid of their worldly attachments and / or a particular mental weakness, then best is to consult an acarya. In Senior Acarya Diary, Baba has given a detailed science and method for practicing Guru puja. One should learn how to do this from any acarya, one on one.
*******************************************************
== Section #3 ==
~ Repentance: "Why Did I Not Keep You In My Heart" ~
PS Intro: The relationship between the bhakta and Parama Purusa
is eternal - it has been going on since the very dawn of creation.
However, the devotee was not always aware of this truth. Ages and ages
passed when the sadhaka did not realise his unique and intimate
connection with Parama Purusa. So when any sadhaka does get initiated
and starts doing strong sadhana and becomes linked with Parama Purusa
and feels His divine love and becomes drenched in His bliss, then that
sadhaka feels repentant for not developing his relationship with Parama
Purusa sooner. This song expresses this very notion of repentance and
wishful thinking. Because in this song the sadhaka is expressing the
following directly to Parama Purusa:
'In the past I was not aware about my relation with You. So now, when I have been blessed to come in Your contact and feel in my heart that You are my nearest and dearest One, then I feel sad that why did I not call You before, in the past - long, long back. Because even when I was a non-margii then that very time also You were with me. But I never look towards You those days and I never called You back then. Why did I not do so. Why did I not recognise You back then, it would have been so blissful to have had Your proximity all these years, but instead so much time passed in vain.'
So this song expresses the feeling of repentance of each and every devotee who has become linked with Parama Purusa as they reflect back on their life before becoming a margii. They wonder, 'Why did I remain oblivious of You - it would have been blissful if I had deep intimacy with You sooner'.
Prabhat Samgiita #241:
First Stanza:
Tumi a'ma'r kata a'pan a'ge bujhi ni
Chile a'ma'r ka'che ka'che keno d́a'kini
Second Stanza:
Chile a'ma'r sakal ka'je, Chande ga'ne surero ma'jhe
Se viin'a'r ta'r a'jo baje ta'khan shunini
Refrain: Tumi a'ma'r kata a'pan a'ge bujhi ni
Third Stanza:
Ogo a'ma'r cala'r pathe gabhira a'ndha're
Jege chilo sei smritit́i mane ba're ba're
Abhima'ne gele sare a'ma'y phele anek du're
Keno takhan pa'ye dhare hiya'y ra'khini
Sakal dvidha' sariye diye dhya'ne dhari ni
Refrain: Tumi a'ma'r kata a'pan a'ge bujhi ni
Purport:
O' Parama Purusa, You are very close to me; You are my Dearest One. Before, in the past, I was oblivious to this sacred truth: That You are my eternal Companion. All along, You were side by side with me - near me always and with me wherever I was, in all endeavours. But it was so unfortunate that I remained unaware of Your divine presence. I never thought that You were with me. O' my Dearmost, why did I not call You and have Your intimate closeness.
Baba, since time immemorial You have been with me in all my works - small or big, meaningful and meaningless. But unfortunately that time I did not look towards You. Baba, You were with me in my song, rhythm, and tune. There was never any occasion when You were not there right by my side. And the string of that viina was vibrating then and resonates even today. And now I can hear it. But it is so sad and painful how that time in the past I remained oblivious of You. I did not pay heed to the call of Your viina. I did not hear it. O' my Dearmost, why did I not hear. Alas, it would have been so blissful if I had known You.
O’ Divine Entity, You were with me on this journey of life, even when I was submerged in the deep cimmerian darkness. Even then You were with me. And now that very memory remains awake in my mind always – that You were with me. It comes again and again in my mind that You are my close and You are with me. But alas, all that time in the past I remained oblivious of You and I did not call You. And I remained distant; devotionally I could not come close, although You were with me. It is so sad. Only now I know You are there and I can call and talk to You. Today I understand this truth; but in the past I did know You were there. O’ Supreme One, why did my spiritual life not start at the very outset. I feel so repentant that I did not call You in those early days. Because I was not calling You, You felt hurt so You went away, leaving me alone in isolation in an unknown place and distant land. That time, why did I not keep You in my heart and hold Your feet. Why did I not wipe away all my dilemmas about You and hold You in dhyana and make You mine. Why did I not do this. It is so sad that time passed and You remained distant. And now today we are close and I feel so repent how my life would have been so blissful having Your proximity earlier. This pain I carry in my heart, O' my Dearmost...
Note: A link to this purport in Hindi has been appended below.
'In the past I was not aware about my relation with You. So now, when I have been blessed to come in Your contact and feel in my heart that You are my nearest and dearest One, then I feel sad that why did I not call You before, in the past - long, long back. Because even when I was a non-margii then that very time also You were with me. But I never look towards You those days and I never called You back then. Why did I not do so. Why did I not recognise You back then, it would have been so blissful to have had Your proximity all these years, but instead so much time passed in vain.'
So this song expresses the feeling of repentance of each and every devotee who has become linked with Parama Purusa as they reflect back on their life before becoming a margii. They wonder, 'Why did I remain oblivious of You - it would have been blissful if I had deep intimacy with You sooner'.
Prabhat Samgiita #241:
First Stanza:
Tumi a'ma'r kata a'pan a'ge bujhi ni
Chile a'ma'r ka'che ka'che keno d́a'kini
Second Stanza:
Chile a'ma'r sakal ka'je, Chande ga'ne surero ma'jhe
Se viin'a'r ta'r a'jo baje ta'khan shunini
Refrain: Tumi a'ma'r kata a'pan a'ge bujhi ni
Third Stanza:
Ogo a'ma'r cala'r pathe gabhira a'ndha're
Jege chilo sei smritit́i mane ba're ba're
Abhima'ne gele sare a'ma'y phele anek du're
Keno takhan pa'ye dhare hiya'y ra'khini
Sakal dvidha' sariye diye dhya'ne dhari ni
Refrain: Tumi a'ma'r kata a'pan a'ge bujhi ni
Purport:
O' Parama Purusa, You are very close to me; You are my Dearest One. Before, in the past, I was oblivious to this sacred truth: That You are my eternal Companion. All along, You were side by side with me - near me always and with me wherever I was, in all endeavours. But it was so unfortunate that I remained unaware of Your divine presence. I never thought that You were with me. O' my Dearmost, why did I not call You and have Your intimate closeness.
Baba, since time immemorial You have been with me in all my works - small or big, meaningful and meaningless. But unfortunately that time I did not look towards You. Baba, You were with me in my song, rhythm, and tune. There was never any occasion when You were not there right by my side. And the string of that viina was vibrating then and resonates even today. And now I can hear it. But it is so sad and painful how that time in the past I remained oblivious of You. I did not pay heed to the call of Your viina. I did not hear it. O' my Dearmost, why did I not hear. Alas, it would have been so blissful if I had known You.
O’ Divine Entity, You were with me on this journey of life, even when I was submerged in the deep cimmerian darkness. Even then You were with me. And now that very memory remains awake in my mind always – that You were with me. It comes again and again in my mind that You are my close and You are with me. But alas, all that time in the past I remained oblivious of You and I did not call You. And I remained distant; devotionally I could not come close, although You were with me. It is so sad. Only now I know You are there and I can call and talk to You. Today I understand this truth; but in the past I did know You were there. O’ Supreme One, why did my spiritual life not start at the very outset. I feel so repentant that I did not call You in those early days. Because I was not calling You, You felt hurt so You went away, leaving me alone in isolation in an unknown place and distant land. That time, why did I not keep You in my heart and hold Your feet. Why did I not wipe away all my dilemmas about You and hold You in dhyana and make You mine. Why did I not do this. It is so sad that time passed and You remained distant. And now today we are close and I feel so repent how my life would have been so blissful having Your proximity earlier. This pain I carry in my heart, O' my Dearmost...
Note: A link to this purport in Hindi has been appended below.
== Section #4 ==
