Baba
DONKEY MARRIAGE - 1
Namaskar,
Revolutionary marriages (RM) are a big part of our Ananda Marga way of
life. As we all know Baba has placed tremendous importance on RM's and
waged a ceaseless campaign against caste marriages, the dowry system,
and all kinds of exploitation related with marriages.
In a nuthsell, the benefits of the RM system are vast indeed as it
strengthens the gene pool by marrying people who come from diverse
backgrounds, brings tremendous social unity, and is integral for forming
one human society - among so many other plus points. As Ananda Margiis,
we must be vigilant to attend to and follow Baba dharmic guidelines
with regards to marriage. After all, this is an essential component of
society building and if we do not adhere to His given tenets, then who
will.
Unfortunately, the recent trend in certain parts shows how some are
short-cutting and even blatantly disregarding and going against Baba's
given revolutionary marriage system - in a multitude of ways. Here we
are not only talking about the bride and groom, nor just the margii
families involved, but also our Wts who attend, sanction, condone, and
preside over such marriage ceremonies.
Here following are some of the transgressions taking place:
On 18th May 2013, Pratap Nayak, a senior margii and Bhukti Pradhan of
Balasore in Odisha (formerly known as Orissa) arranged the marriage of
his son with a non-margii girl of the same caste. So this the first
martial violation as it is well known in Ananda Marga that we do not
support caste marriages.
The second issue is that just prior to getting married the boy was seen
driving a newly purchased Maruti 800 automobile. And it is no surprise
where this car came from. The boy received it as part of the dowry from
the bride's family. THus a big dowry was paid to the boy's family. That
is a serious violation of our Ananda Marga marriage system.
And the third chief violation is that neither the boy nor the girl have
reverence for Guru Shrii Shrii Anandamurtiji. The boy has zero interest
in Ananda Marga and the girl was not a non-margii. Yet they both took
vows in the name of Sadguru Baba. But without proper regard for Him and
without performing His sadhana, they are both completely unable to
fulfill those vows. That is the third major violation. More about this
is described further down in this email.
The fourth and final problem is that central workers like Ac
Priyakrsnanandji of Kolkata served as the priest, and some other
sanyasii dadas & diidis attended this marriage. Thus not only did
those Wts attend the proper but they actually convened the ceremony,
thus implicitly condoning a caste marriage, the dowry, and the fact that
neither groom nor bride was in position to take an oath in the name of
Lord Shrii Shrii Anandamurtiji. Not only that, most of those Wts took
food at this ceremony - i.e. full belly. Yet that should not have been
done as this marriage ceremony incorporated so many dogmas like casteism
and dowry. Ac Priyakrsnanandji and others involved should have taken
the responsibility to ensure that the marriage adhered to the marital
codes as given in Ananda Marga philosophy. Instead those workers paid a
blind eye to such matters, and they got completely wrapped up in Hindu
dogma and packaged the wedding in that way as well. This is nothing
short of tragic and shocking that certain, "big" Dadas succumbed in this
way. What is the need for them to move around in orange dress if they
are going to walk arm-in-arm with all local dogmas. That is perhaps the
biggest tragedy
Rule Violations: Caste marriage, acceptance of dowry, breach of sanctity of marriage vows, Wt support
WHY WTS INDULGE IN THIS WAY
With regards to violations of our Ananda Marga marriage system, we
cannot blame non-margiis as they are ignorant of all such matters.
Senior margiis must certainly be held accountable. Most shocking of all
is those Wts who perform, preside over, condone, and attend such
marriages that are in clear violation of Baba's dharmic marriage system.
Wts should not be giving marriage oaths to non-margiis and those who
lack reverence for Ista. Yet clearly certain workers are in violation of
this. Furthermore, our Wts should not be attending let alone eating at
such marriage gatherings. Yet here again many are contravening Baba's
codes.
For instance, if a dowry is involved then no Wt or senior margii should
conduct that marriage ceremony - nor should they attend or eat at such a
program. All that can be said is that laokik family members may attend
out of family obligation but they must not take food at such a ceremony.
Yet so many Wts are in clear violation of this by attending and
condoning caste marriages, marriages with dowry, marriages with
non-margii brother, and marriages with those who lack reverence towards
Ista. This begs the question why our Wts are involving in this way. Are
they getting payment for performing such marriages?
All in all it is quite disturbing to see and 100% contrary to Guru's teachings.
WTS SHOULD NOT BE INVOLVED IN MATCH-MAKING ETC
Actually this whole episode of our wholetimers involving in arranging
marriges, conducting ceremonies, and doing match-making is not what they
should be doing. This is the work of senior margiis and family acaryas.
The problem is that sannyasi life is not easy and one various Dadas and
Didis take active roles in marriage arrangements, all too often they
end up matching themselves as well, thereby leaving their sannyasi dress
behind. This is the unholy and disastrous outcome. Thus Wts should not
put their mind in that direction. They should leave such works entirely
up to senior family margiis and family acaryas. If and when necessary,
our WT Dadas may give advice from afar when called upon and needed.
Other than that they should involve in the creation of more wts and lfts
and leave the arrangement of marriages to family people.
BABA'S MARRIAGE GUIDELINES FROM CARCARYA
Here are Baba's key guidelines on our Ananda Marga marriage system. The
following twelve point are from the chapter "Marriage Ceremony" in
Caryacarya. Thereafter further points are given in succeeding sections
of this email.
A Few Instructions
(1) While arranging a marriage [in the case of that kind of marriage],
the guardians should not consider the caste or nationality of the bride
and bridegroom, but they must consider the family and the merits and
demerits of the two. The guardians, before fixing the marriage, will
seek the opinions of the bride and the bridegroom and proceed
accordingly. The guardians should not allow matrimony between persons
connected with each other either on the paternal or the maternal side
for three generations, ascending or descending.
(2) In the case of arranged marriages, the guardians should finally meet
and ascertain the consent of the bride and bridegroom, and bless them,
at least a day before the marriage is solemnized.
(3) If the boy and the girl settle their marriage themselves, it is
proper for the guardians to give their consent. In case the guardians
feel that the consequences of such a marriage will be harmful, they may
ask the boy and the girl to reconsider their decision. Even then, if
they do not change their opinion, the guardians will give their consent,
but they will be in no way responsible for such a marriage.
(4) Every person should marry if there is not sufficient reason against
marriage. A decision for marriage should be taken with full
consideration of one’s physical, mental, and financial conditions and
environmental circumstances. No one should exert pressure in the matter
of marriage. [[According to Ananda Marga,]] marriage is not a hindrance
to dharma sádhaná; rather, marriage is a dhármika ceremony.
(5) Male members of the Marga can marry females outside the Marga, but
it will be better to marry a female member of the Marga to a male member
of the Marga, as far as possible. If a suitable match is available
outside the Marga, the marriage may be solemnized, but efforts should be
made to initiate him into the Marga without delay.
(6) For marriage, neither party can demand a dowry.
(7) A widow or a woman forsaken by her husband can remarry. A man
marrying such a woman will be given a special status in the society. He
will have to shoulder the responsibility of bringing up the children by
her previous husband.
(8) If a woman forsaken by the society desires to lead an honourable
life, proper opportunities should be afforded to her. If anyone marries
such a woman in the manner prescribed by the Marga, the marriage should
be properly respected.
(9) Men can prove their manliness by marrying shelterless women. Do not at all allow a woman to live [[in neglect]].
(10) It is proper not to marry again when one’s wife is alive. But
sometimes, due to social or family necessity, more than one marriage can
be accepted. If there is a need of more than one marriage, the clear
permission of the wife has to be obtained in the presence of five
responsible persons (one of whom will preferably be an ácárya/á). The
second marriage will not be permissible without the permission of the
wife. These five persons will specifically ascertain the veracity of the
statement of the petitioner.
(11) In Ananda Marga no one will be looked down upon as an illegitimate
child. In such circumstances, the parents of the child will be compelled
to marry in the prescribed manner, and if need be, the man will have to
agree to more than one marriage.
In order that the dignity of a child born out of wedlock may be saved,
it will not be necessary to take the permission of the earlier wife for
the marriage.
(12) The mantras in the Ananda Marga marriage system are such that the
question of divorce does not arise; but in very extraordinary
circumstances, on charges of characterlessness, irresponsibility, or
cruelty, divorce may be accepted. The complainant (man or woman) will
appeal to five important responsible persons of the Marga (an
ácárya/á preferably being one of them). On being satisfied regarding
the validity of the complaint, they will allow the complainant six
months’ time for reconsideration. If the petition is still not withdrawn
and the reasons for the complaint remain unaltered, divorce will be
accepted. In this connection, the procedure for the division of the
properties will be formulated according to the demands of the time.
ANOTHER IMPORTANT RULE ON MARRIAGE
Sadguru Baba says, "At the time of marriage the bride and bridegroom
should not have any direct relationship three generations above and
three generations below. If this condition is not met, the marriage
should not be solemnized." (1)
IN RESPONSE TO THOSE WHO SAY WE SHOULD COMPROMISE
There are some who may say that adhering to the Ananda Marga marriage
system is too difficult and virutally impossible. They argue that there
should be some leeway - i.e. slackness in the rules - otherwise no one
will participate in our revolutionary marriage system. People are not
ready to give up caste dogma and forgo dowry. That is what some say and
then they give the following suggestion: Best then is to compromise and
not emphasize the importance of following all of Baba's stated rules on
revolutionary marriage.
The reply to such persons is as follows. Ananda Marga is not a
popularity contest nor are we seeking numbers at the expense of our
ideals. Baba never advocates any kind of compromise with Ananda Marga
guidelines.
"We will not deviate an inch from our ideology, nor will we allow others to do so." (2)
Indeed, once one begins compromising on points of dharma then the
outcome is terrible - more and more degradation occurs until the
original guideline is no longer recogniseable. That is the theme Baba
has expressed in the following story.
"Perhaps you know the old story of a milk vendor. Once a customer asked a
milk vendor. “How is it that you sell me milk at one kilo for one
rupee, whereas the other vendor gives it to my neighbour for two kilos a
rupee?” The vendor replied, “If you like, I will also give it to you
for two kilos a rupee.” So the vendor started giving milk at that price.
After a few days, the customer said to him, “Look here, another milk
vendor sells 16 kilos of milk for one rupee. Why don’t you?” The vendor
replied, “I can also, if you like.” After a few more days, the customer
said, “See here, another vendor is selling milk at 18 kilos for a
rupee!” “I can also do that if you want,” answered the vendor, “but this
time I will not be able to retain the original colour of the milk!”
That is, the vendor will have to pour such a great quantity of water
into the milk that it will no longer remain white!" (3)
The main teaching here is that once one begins to compromise or
adulterate then that continues until the original substance no longer
resembles its former self. That is what happened with the milk in the
above story.
And that is what will happen to our revolutionary marriage system in
Ananda Marga. As soon as the bending of the rules or compromise occurs
on caste marriages or dowry, then that will trigger more and more
compromises until finally our marriages will have absolutely nothing to
do with Baba's given revolutionary marriage system.
That is why Baba guides us to never compromise on points of dharma, i.e.
never compromise on Ananda Marga ideals. He wants that we uphold the
tenets of dharma. That is our measuring rod, not how popular we are with
the common people. Lastly, by upholding the tenets of bhagavad dharma,
then good people will be attracted to Ananda Marga.
So we should be ever strict to live by the tenets of Ananda Marga
ideology - there is not any question of abandoning those core values and
guidelines in order to become more popular.
MARRIAGE OATH IS TAKEN IN THE NAME OF MARGA GURU:
USELESS IF SPOUSE IS NON-MARGII
In marriage, Baba has given the mantra and meaning, and the meaning is
treated as an oath. The mantra begins with the following vow, which
first the groom and then the bride must repeat.
"I say on oath in the name of Parama Brahma and Marga Gurudeva that out
of my own free will I will accept Shriimatii / Ms. ... as my wife."
(Caryacarya)
In this above quote, the oath is taken "In the name of Parama Brahma and
Marga Gurudeva". So here the point is that if the oath taker does not
believe in Marga Gurudeva, then taking an oath in His name has no
meaning for that person.
To take an oath in someone's name, one must have adoration for that person or entity.
JUST LIKE A MARGII TAKING VOW
IN THE NAME OF ALLAH, JESUS, HANUMAN ETC
For example, if one margii takes oath in the name of Marga Gurudeva,
then that has deep meaning. Because the margii has heartfelt feeling for
Baba, our Marga Guru. But if that same margii takes oath in the name of
Allah, Jesus or Hanuman, then what will be the sense of that when the
margii has no feeling for those entities.
Similarly, if a non-margii sister takes the oath on the name of Marga
Gurudeva, then what meaning will that have when she herself does not
feel that Baba is her Guru. If she had the feeling that Lord Shrii Shrii
Anandamurtiji is her Guru then she would have taken initiation. Not
having done so, it is just hypocritical for her to take oath in Marga
Guru's name. Officially on paper the oath can be done, but in the real
sense no oath has been taken. (From letter of 11/8/2013 on Unmatched Marriages.)
It is just like if an atheist takes an oath in the name of God, then
oath does not mean anything. Because that atheist does not have any
feeling for God. So then how can an oath in the name of God hold any
meaning - in that circumstance it cannot. An oath is meaningful only to
the degree one has faith and belief in that Entity. Likewise, when
non-margiis do not have faith in Ista or Ananda Marga ideology, then how
can the oath they take in the name of Baba hold any real value or
meaning.
MARRIAGE OATH IS A LIFELONG COMMITMENT:
MUST BE AN ANANDA MARGII
As we know, in Ananda Marga, an oath is taken very seriously. One must
have a deep feeling, connection and commitment to take an oath.
Moreover, here we are talking about marriage, a life-long commitment. So
the marriage oath is a critical matter. It must not be taken on the
name of one entity for which one has no feeling. Otherwise that is just
hypocrisy.
This marriage oath is Baba's clear-cut injunction on marriage. Because
this oath is being taken on the name of Marga Gurudeva. And as is
already clear, when one has no heartfelt feeling or adoration for Marga
Gurudeva, then that oath has no meaning. So this oath is very clear-cut,
and it is given directly by Baba. A non-margii cannot take this oath.
On this basis, it is proven that both parties intending to marry within
the Ananda Marga marriage system must be initiated margiis who accept
Baba as their Guru. (From letter of 11/8/2013 on Unmatched Marriages.)
REVOLUTIONARY MARRIAGE
“तुम लोग dogma के ख़िलाफ़ सङ्ग्राम करते रहोगे | और केवल—मुँह से बोलोगे
कि dogma ख़राब है—सो नहीं | अपने करके दिखला दोगे कि—तुम dogma को नापसन्द
करते हो |
हम तो सबसे कहेंगे कि हम लोगों को जल्द से जल्द समाज बना लेना है | और,
दुनिया में सर्वत्र आनन्दमार्ग का प्रचार और-ज़ोरदार करना है | समाज बनाना
है, इसलिए अधिक से अधिक revolutionary marriage चाहिए | …
जो लोग guardian हो, माता-पिता हो, अपने बटे-बेटी को revolutionary marriage करके दिखला दो कि—तुम dogma के ख़िलाफ़ हो |
घबड़ाओ नहीं, किसी से डरो नहीं | अपने वैयष्टिक प्रयास से अगर नहीं हुआ,
सामूहिक प्रयास से करो | घबड़ाने की कोई बात नहीं है | और हम तोरा सिनी रो
साथ छियो |”
क्रान्तिकारी विवाह (4)
“अधिक से अधिक revolutionary marriage करा लो | और जो हिम्मतवार लड़के हैं,
वे, उनके guardian, उनके माता; वे लोग क्या करें ? जात-पाँत को लात से
ख़त्म कर दो, चूर-चूर कर दो | एक दल, एक मज़बूत समाज बना लो | और हम लोगों
को दुनिया के कोने-कोने में आनन्दमार्ग का पैगाम पहुँचा देना है | इसलिए
अधिक से अधिक सङ्ख्या में whole timer worker की भी जरूरत है | कोई whole
timer worker बनो | कोई revolutionary marriage करके समाज को मज़बूत बना दो
|” (5)
SUMMARY
The Ananda Marga revolutionary marriage system is an important dynamic
for building a healthy human society. Throughout history, marriage has
been used as a tool to either exlude or include various sections of
humanity. Now, for the first time ever, the world bears witness to the
ultimate system of marriage that will yield unparalled results. Yet the
very Dadas (and some family acaryas) in charge of overseeing Baba's
revolutionary marriage have seemingly defaulted. Otherwise, how else to
explain the above meltdown where a caste marriage was performed complete
with a dowry. Baba Himself personally fought against this in the 1950s
or even earlier. Now, decades and decades later, our top Wt
administrators are jettisoning our Ananda Marga back into the stone ages
on this critical matter.
Namaskar,
in Him,
Ananta
Note 1: JUST DONKEY MARRIAGE NOTHING MORE
The aforementioned marriage in Balasore, Odisha was nothing but a donkey
marriage. Superficially, they had everything ready in terms of proper
outfits and acaryas on hand etc, but upon closer examination the
foundations of this marriage were completely bogus as it was wrapped up
in caste and dowry dogma etc. The entire marital function and ceremony
contravened Ananda Marga ideals. That is why it is called a donkey
marriage. On the outside it looks like Ananda Marga but in reality it is
not Ananda Marga. That is what is meant by donkey.
It is just like if one is doing sadhana sitting in a very erect position
hoping that someone will notice him in sadhana and be impressed. But
internally, that "meditator" is just thinking about himself, not Parama
Purusa. So this is not real sadhana; it is just donkey sadhana. It looks
like sadhana but on closer look it is clear it is just donkey sadhana.
Same is the case with the aforementioned marriage in Odisha. To the
untrained eye and non-sadhaka, it may look like an Ananda Marga
marriage, but to every sincere Ananda Margii it is evident that this was
just a donkey marriage.
REFERENCES
1. Ananda Vacanamrtam - 7, Bhaerava and Bhaeravii
2. Namah Shiváya Shántáya, Disc: 14
3. AFPS-3, Genius and Technician
4. Kra’ntika’rii Viva’ha, Deoghar 1/8/84, General Darshan, Not Printed
5. PS Purport 1030 + WT Discourse – 2, 1/14/1984 Patna, Not Printed
